Rush Limbaugh can see it even if you can't: An immense, invisible "heat dome" secretly placed upon The Earth by shadowy forces to purposefully make this summer seem especially warm, perhaps alarmingly so, thus lending further credence and support to Former U.S. Vice-President Al Gore's secret big-government anti-marriage gay-friendly global warming agenda, which Mr. Limbaugh has variously dismissed in the past as "a bunch of hooey and hogwash," "more liberal cocka-doody nonsense and foofaraw," and "a pocketful of bunk oxies."

But now Mr. Limbaugh is postulating his own theory, one which states that global warming is real, and man-made--but that the "man" heating things up is not the traditionally soulless, cynical man whose only real talent is that he inherited ownership of everything, but rather the man currently occupying the White House (Barack Obama, or as Mr. Limbaugh likes to refer to him, "The Man") and an elite group of adumbral, often bespectacled accomplices ("The Brothers").

Recently on his radio program, Mr. Limbaugh threw his full weight upon the so-called Heat IndexDespite his disapproval of the Heat Index, Mr. Limbaugh does take wind-chill factor into consideration at football games, a measure of temperature which includes relative humidity, saying that it was "manufactured by 'The Government'."

"Everyone knows that when you're hot, you take your hat off, because then the heat can escape... but what if the liberals secretly made you wear an invisible hat that you couldn't see, feel or admire in a mirror? How would you know it was even there? And by the same token, if The Brothers did put such a 'heat hat' on the world, what sort of hat do you think it would be? How would it look? And how could anyone prove it was there at all, or that he did it? Don't you see, everyone? Don't you see how this is just like the theory of global warming itself? Don't you see? It's a massive, invisible pimp hat... that's right... I said it; pimp hat! This isn't a conspiracy theory, it's a theory conspiracy, and that's how these things work, it's the oldest trick in the book... except that my theory is absolutely true."