Mr. Limbaugh has been arguing against "Tom Cruise, John Travolta and those other Scientists" for decades now. His obscurant remarks about the recent discovery of the Higgs boson ("God doesn't leave particles lying around; don't you think he's housebroken for Pete's sake?U.S. Congressman Pete Sessions (R-TX) hosted this fundraiser for a PAC that is funding Presidential hopeful Michele Bachmann (R-MN)") have broadened the divide between The American People and Book-Readnin'-Five-Dollar-Word-Usin'-Fags everywhere.

His remarks have prompted some scientists to take another look at their numbers and reconsider their conclusions. "We used to think most of it was caused by CO2 emissions, methane, those damn taggers, volcanic activity, things like that... but recently one of our group decided to measure the amount of hot gas produced by Rush Limbaugh himself over the last 20 years, and we realized that his output has been nothing short of ferocious," said Dr. Fred Bixby of the Highly Respected National Society of Top Brainiacs. "Forget about cow farts; cow farts are no longer even on the graph. They've been pushed out completelyClick to buy your very own can of cow farts... forreal forreal. by the amazing levels of noxious and toxic gases Mr. Limbaugh has produced every day, for all these years. The cumulative effect on the environment is... well, it's monstrous."

Scientists are now recommending that Rush Limbaugh be gelded and corked, immediately, for the good of all. "We cannot afford to wait; we must act as soon as humanly possible." said Presidential candidate Jimmy MCMillanThe Heat Is Too Damn High! at a recent academic conference on Possible Applications of Critical Thinking in Times of Grave National Crises at MIT, which met in emergency session. "And no, we're not a secret society of swarthy guardians of secular humanism crossing flesh-lances with the chinless elite for control of the world since time immemorial," he continued. "It's just a stuffy old academic conference full of some of America's most intelligent people, you know, your regular glasses-wearing geeks, Chomsky-honks, people who dress up like Boba Fett's second cousin and such, meeting in emergency session. No big deal."

The Earth could not be reached for comment, as it was reportedly "chasin' down some holdout bitch" in Saudi ArabiaFox News parent News Corp's second-largest shareholder, Saudi Prince Al-Waleed bin Talal.