C .H.U.M.P has a manifesto, of sorts: "We're here to fix the sink. We're the plumbers. Where's your pipes!" is their rallying call. The sink is of course the federal government. And if banging on it with a wrench won't fix it, then C.H.U.M.P. is ready to try some other gizmo.

Mr. McMahon, who at age 41 sports a tattoo of Mickey and Minnie Mouse in flagrante delicto and was third-string punter for the Guilford High School football team, came up with the idea for C.H.U.M.P. one night over drinks with two friends at Rockford's Bigfoot Lounge. "We all figured hey!!! These egghead losers runnin' the show are bogus!; if we don't get some new rules... pronto... then we'll just be bogus too! There's gotta be lotsa people that think so, and if we get 'em all together, pretty soon POW! Y'know? My main man Moe can run stuff better'n that jigaboo in the White House, so we're gonna make him the President!"

Mom (1991) by Ken McMahon

At the rally, when a local journalist asked him if he was aware that Moe Howard, the longest-lived of the Three Stooges, died in 1975, McMahon quipped "What are you, some kinda pickle-sitter?" The reporter then (perhaps tactlessly) argued that they might as well try to make Jim Rockford (from the 70's TV show The Rockford Files) President, whereupon he was administered an "All-American Beatdown" by McMahon and several of his friends, who subsequently decided to make Mr. Rockford Vice-President.

In his closing remarks to the assembled crowd, Mr. McMahon (an amateur painter who makes his living hanging drywall) said, "The hell with all you smart-mouth phonies and your math and science! We don't need you anymore! We're regular people taking this country back! Getting re-elected is not what we're about; we'll just get enough of us in there just long enough to give 'em a swift kick in the balls that'll smart for decades! Is that smart enough for ya? How 'bout this -- There's gonna be plenty more of us ready to take their places! We're regular people goddammit! We put our pants on one leg at a time, but once we finally got our pants on... POW! We're gonna keep gettin' more and more people and we're gonna steamroll right over Washington like a big firey snowball!!!"